A Blog in 4 Parts

Coffee outing the other day  was not only fabulous, but I changed it up a bit. I had cream in my coffee. I've not done this in years. But I find the coffee where we go, to not be all that great. Normally I just suck it up and drink it, not this time. I doubt I'll be doing it again, as it kind of made my tummy not feel good later on. Sometimes if I eat ice cream, it's the same result.

But we all had good conversation. Normally I am kind of quiet and so is my one friend. The other two do most of the talking most times. This time I actually piped up and got into the conversation. When I'm not feeling like talking, I just want to be in the company of my friends. It's the only time I really do people. Most of the time at home, I don't go outside my apartment, other than to get mail when I know there is little chance anyone will be out in the lobby.
 
My good friend was kind enough to buy me this off of my wish list. At the time it was hot out and I no longer have them put my AC in the window, as it's just way the hell too much money to have it put in. Last year it was $60 and this year it's $70 - so just NOPE. I generally can't sleep well if I don't have a fan blowing on me, so it was very nice to have. But dang it, it only lived 5 months. I'd taken it apart and cleaned it (I actually have training in doing this kind of thing). It did need another cleaning, but should have still been good, but it died. It just slowed to a stop while I was reading and email, and that was the end of it. It was $40 CDN and she paid less, because she is in the USA and exchange made it more of a deal for her. I'm going to use my GST rebate next month to buy a much better one - I've got one like it now and it's lasted over 2 years and works amazingly still. I generally like one in the bedroom and one in the living room. It eases my almost constant anxiety to have it blowing on me. I find it comforting. I know some people literally hate having anything blowing on them, but I've always loved the sensation.

To be honest, it's just way too much money for something I watch maybe 6 hours out of the month most of the time. Yes, I've binged a show or 20 in my day, and that's always fun. However right now nothing is on that I care about and it's up to $21.08 for just HD (not 4K) and I'm about done paying more every year for this dang thing. My pay from disability is NOT going up, so there is no way I can just keep paying more. As well groceries are going up monthly it seems, so I can't justify the expense anymore. I've already given up other services in the past, and I seriously hope I can keep the one I still have, as I use Amazon often, Prime is a deal for me - so I should be able to keep it. To be honest, ordering from them is often a better deal than ordering from the store in town or using Door Dash.
A positive self image is something that most people struggle with in our modern times. I have no issue with how I look in any way. The gut hanging down, the large scars, the size of my unit - I just can't give a shit what people think of how I look - that's their problem for not being grounded in reality, instead of giving into an ideal set by people who exploit the  fact we hate how we look on average. I've been a nudist for most of my life (as far back as I can remember) - and so where my brother and father. It gave me a positive outlook on body image and the lack of judgment for how others look. Trust me even if most people are literally repulsed by the looks of a person, I'm not going to judge them on it - I judge people from their actions and ideology. If you are an evil spud, or think that it's fine for our leaders or anyone to be an evil spud, you are a bad person in my mind. Looks have nothing to do with it. I have to admit, when I see people being flashy, I often look down on them for it, but I give them the benefit of doubt - yet I'm usually right.

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