I Turned 58 Today and I Fear The Future

Well, here I am 58 years old. 2 years away from being 60. I did not think I was going to make it much past 40 to be honest. My health has been trashed for years now after all. Then when I got diagnosed with heart failure, I figured I'd be gone soon.

But life is strange some times. A miracle medication helped stop the progression of the heart failure and saved my life. I was probably going to be dead in 2 years if it was not for Entresto.

I don't expect to be alive at 70 to be honest, and if I still am, I'm going to be in a hell of a bad state of being. My body is degenerating on me and in the last years it's gotten much worse.

To be honest, being on the SAID program (Saskatchewan disability), and having to switch to the Old Age Security, and Guaranteed Income Supplement for seniors, and having to reapply for supplemental medical coverage provincially - is going to be a hell of a lot of a bother. This happens a year before I turn 65. A tome of paper work, and then hope to GOD they don't loose it in the system. It's happened to people I know.

Being I have $0 in savings and probably it's going to stay that way, I don't expect I could actually survive them screwing stuff up on me.

Then there is the thing about drug coverage changing. I will no longer get all my meds for free. I will have to pay some money for them. It caps out at $15 each, but with 8 meds that's $120 I probably won't have if I get the maximum share of cast on all my meds. I hope with luck I'll be like Mom and it will only be $3 or $4 each.

Then of course, I'll be making more money, so all the sudden I have to start paying more rent, as it is linked to my income in my building.

I honestly don't think I'm going to be any better off, and if I am, I'm sure the price of food and everything else by then will go up more than the pensions will. As it is now, my SAID is staying the same and the price of food has doubled in 8 months or so. The price of even underwear is vastly more than it used to be the last time I needed some.

There are people out there that would have us all living in the street just to save literally $7 off their check every month. Compassion seems to be a dead horse in this day and age.

But in all, I enjoyed celebrating my birthday with my friends and I ordered a toy with the money I was gifted. It's a "personal toy", so don't ask, you don't want to know LOL.

All I have in mind for the future is fear of the unknown. I don't feel confident it's going to get better. Too many people I know right now are on the edge of loosing their bloody home, because they fall threw the cracks and only get a small amount to live on. The system is not working for a lot of people and I know they have screwed by benefits up a few times. The fear never goes away.
 

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