God I Miss You Mom

I miss her some much. We where like best friends in my adult years. We would spend a lot of time together just talking or watching TV together. We often watched Golden Girls on her TV. Our bond was deep. When I had to watch her rot away from cancer, it was something I'll never be over. It took part of my soul watching it happen. Nothing will fix it.

For a couple of years I took care of her in her home. I moved into the same apartment building as her, even though the rent was higher than I could do normally. I would cook for her, and help her with everything she needed help with. I gave all I had to the point of exhaustion.

I managed to get some help for her, but not nearly enough. I'm disabled and it was seriously hard to do all the work that needed to happen.

Then when she was in the home, I visited every day, even when I was in terrible pain. Half of the time she was in a home 5 blocks from my home, and I walked every day, even in the rain. When she needed to be taken to Regina, I hired transport and went with her. Everything she needed or wanted I took care of.

To watch her fade to less than 80 LBS and loose the ability to talk, then go bling and deaf, was horrible. I can't express how much this hurt. Every day I came to see her, it was worse.

I so miss our time together, and the times we rented a car and traveled was some of the best times in the past 20 years of my life. I've never been truly happy since.

I know I'll meet her again, but the wait is painful. I think of her every day, and cry over it at least once a week, like I'm doing right now.

She accepted me fully for who I am with no question. She was my best advocate. All the problems I had with mental health years ago, she was there for me. She never let me down.

God I miss you Mom!
 

Comments

  1. Glinda wilsonOctober 16, 2024 at 11:39 AM

    ♥️🥺 It's good you have fond memories of your Mom😊 Memories can be cherished forever🤗

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Most Popular In Last 30 Days

HOW TO FIX BLOGGER FROM DOUBLE SPACING LINES OF TEXT

Image
When you click on the editor to type text, it changes to "Paragraph" instead of "Normal". This causes there to be a double space between lines. If your trying to do a list, this is a serious piss off. So you have to click where it now says "Paragraph" and set it back to "Normal". I've had it a couple times not stay, and had to select all then set it to Normal again. As well it puts in a leading space (indentation of 1 space) you may want to delete as well, or your list won't look quite right at the top. It used to stay where you put it, but now it just up and changes it to Paragraph for literally no reason - even if you first set it to Normal - you click and POOF it changes.
Read more

My New Cuisinox Moka Pot

Image
1. My friend Earth sent me the Moka pot I had in my Amazon Wishlist. I'm very grateful to have it, as the old one died (seal went) and I could not get parts to fix it. I'm very happy to have this. I was going to get one next month, but it would have been 2 weeks until I could get one and that long without a nice strong mug of coffee is a horrible fate to say the least. The French press makes coffee, but it's very much NOT strong and lacks the rich flavor that comes out of the Moka pot. 2. There she is, it's bigger than the old one but is supposed to make the same amount of coffee (9 espresso cups). 3. Here it is with the water in the base like you are supposed to do. It does indeed hold slightly more water than the old one does. 4. Nicely filled with Lavazza Rosa coffee (espresso). You don't want to over-fill it, just a bit from the top and don't pack it too tight. I wish I had one of those whisk tools for this task, they tend to make it slightly better, as it t
Read more

They Got Mad When I Used the Fun Money for Fun

Image
What can I say. They flipped completely out on my for getting a bottle of whiskey with the money they gifted me and having fun by drinking it. The thing is, they literally said it was for "Fun!" They went on in the comments of my vlog about not putting food on the table. Also said I had to have the booze on hand to drink it. Well what one do you think I did? You think I had it at home, or that I got it just that day? Make sense will ya. They also went on about "this is why I did not donate, I knew you would drink with it." And yet, you donated with the full knowledge that I probably would drink with the money, then you get pissed off that you where correct? How dumb is that? The only other time they "donated" was even less money (don't get me wrong, I'm grateful AF to get anything) they flipped out that I only said thank you in a message back to them, and not in a video for some reason. So I have to think in that case, they only send money to hear
Read more