10 Tough Questions Answered

1. Why do people value the longevity of life as much as, if not more, than the quality?

I know I don’t. I don’t want to live to be 110 and spend 35 years in a care home being not much more than a plate of salad. I also don’t want to be totally aware and still end up in a care home with no freedom at all. I’d rather be dead. I spent 18 months visiting my mother in a care home every single day for several hours and I saw so many things that made me think death is not the worst thing to happen it’s not funny. Frankly, I think I’ll be ready in about 10 more years to leave this world, I’m 57 and failing already.

2. Are people like me born to suffer?

This is a hard question to say the least. I would love to think we all have options to change our lives, yet, I did literally everything I could to have a better life when I was younger and it still turned out to be rather a living hell of a life in my 50’s. I honestly think there is some force in the universe that holds some people down, and makes them suffer, and I can’t imagine why this possibly happens. There is no logic to it at all. I’ve also seen people get very far in life and have a great time of it in general all their lives, and they put almost no effort into it at all. I’ve seen good people suffer terribly, and bad people become rich and comfortable. I have to say yes, but I think there is a reason we can’t understand. I know personally, all the suffering I have done lead me to be a hell of a lot better person and now I affect people’s lives in a positive way most of the time and make their day better. If I had it easy, I may well have been a jerk by now and made others unhappy - so I’m glad for it

3. Is it worth it to live to over 80 years?

Depends on your quality of life and how satisfied you are with your life. If you are still going to be happy at that age, then it’s worth it. For me, my body is failing at 57, and I don’t really want to live that long at all - so on a personal level, I’d say no.

4. When in your life did you first start to understand the process of aging?

I’m rather sure I started to understand this at about 10 years of age. The realization that we all get old, fail medically and eventually die set in by then.

5. Would you find a person attractive if you knew they where transgender?

If I find a person attractive, I literally don’t care what their gender identity is at all. It will not dissuade me at all from being attracted.

6. I don't feel safe around non-binary people. What do I do?

Stay in your home and never go out the door. You WILL literally run into at least one if you go anywhere. Nonbinary people exist in literally every job, in every community as well. There is no way to avoid them. From your reaction I also think that nonbinary people are not safe with you around, so you staying in your home for the rest of your life is a great idea. I guarantee that you have encountered many in your life and literally had no clue at all that they were nonbinary. To make it clear, they are not a danger, it’s people with a mind filled with fear and hate that are a danger to society. People who are filled with fear and hate to very bad things in our world.

7. Why do I feel so lonely at night?

At night our minds tend to start thinking about your situation as we don’t have as much stimulation to keep our minds distracted. If you are lonely, it makes sense that at night you will think about it more often. It’s a time of day when it becomes easy to fixate on our problems. For me, I start to think about my declining health. Most people do this, it’s normal. It’s also very hard to get over the desire to be with others or a partner - it’s part of how our brains are wired that we desire to be with others - humans are pack animals.

8. Am I a bad person if I hate fat people?

Yes. If you hate anyone, you are a bad person and most likely a danger to society. It’s people who hate that end up killing people and causing all kinds of harm to society in general. We would have very few violent crimes in our world if it was not for hate. Wars have started and literally millions of people killed in these wars over a small group in power that hate another group.

9. Why do people always make you feel that you're not good enough?

You have low self-esteem. If you find a way to realize you are a worthy person you won’t feel this way. Learning to love yourself in a world that keeps telling everyone they are not measuring up to an impossible standard is difficult, but not impossible. Big money is made every day on the fact that people are taught to desire to be more than they can be and that they need to be something they are not. This all started in the 1940’s, it seems where marketing caused people to hate who they are for the sake of profit. Don’t give into this nonsense, you are a valid person who deserves love and respect.

10. How can an anxious person get rid of negative thoughts before falling asleep?

There is a saying, “go to your happy place.” This is exactly what you need to do. Think about an ideal situation where you can be happy and feel safe and loved. Just keep thinking about this while trying to sleep and the anxiety tends to lower. It may never go away, but you can lessen it. Anxiety is a malfunction of the brain that is hard to control, but we can distract the mind from it to some extent.