I Almost Unalived Myself

I am told here is reason to believe I fell 3 times (by a friend who knows about that kind of thing.) I was blacked out drunk. When I came to I had damaged myself enough my legs lost most of their strength from all the damage. BTW I was chatting and told the person it was 2 women paramedics. He knew I nude. He asked if I felt ashamed they saw me naked. I said I'll never be ashamed of my body. I am however ashamed I hurt myself so bad when I knew better.

I may never be the same again. Also I'm on blood thinners and hitting my head could have killed me or left me worse than dead. I had to be sent to another city fir a CT scan by ambulance and I hope my insurance covers it, I don't have a few hundred extra dollars to pay for it. Our CT technician was off sick and there no second one.

I darn near unalived myself and I sure as hell screwed myself up. I could not get out of a chair 3 nights in a row here in the hospital and required help. As well I was stuck on the toilet twice. I need help lifting my legs into bed. They want to send me home, possibly tomorrow. I can't get into bed, how am I sleeping. I can't get in my shower. And if I can't get out of my chair I need to call the paramedics. Thing is, no use going to the ER, but if I don't my insurance doesn't cover the paramedics rescuing me.i have no money to pay them.

I'm not only ashamed I did this to myself, I'm scared to be home alone. I'm also ashamed of our medical system.

Update: Got in bed by myself, but it caused me extreme pain. The muscle in the front of my right leg above the knee is in horrific pain. My back is also in horrific pain. This sucks.

Update 2: My stay was extended over the weekend, but I'm not certain I'm going to be OK home alone after I get out tomorrow. A friend went to my place to wait for a delivery I had comming. He then removed the rest of my booze for me. We will see how I do. The staff here is awesome BTW. I just wish I was sent to some place for rehabilitation and physiotherapy and the like. I don't think it would take more than 1 more week at a place like that. But I'm not a doctor, what do I know.

P.S. I'm posting from my phone in the hospital without my glasses, so ignore mistakes.

Comments

Post a Comment

Most Popular In Last 30 Days

HOW TO FIX BLOGGER FROM DOUBLE SPACING LINES OF TEXT

Image
When you click on the editor to type text, it changes to "Paragraph" instead of "Normal". This causes there to be a double space between lines. If your trying to do a list, this is a serious piss off. So you have to click where it now says "Paragraph" and set it back to "Normal". I've had it a couple times not stay, and had to select all then set it to Normal again. As well it puts in a leading space (indentation of 1 space) you may want to delete as well, or your list won't look quite right at the top. It used to stay where you put it, but now it just up and changes it to Paragraph for literally no reason - even if you first set it to Normal - you click and POOF it changes.
Read more

YEAH THAT'S NOT A SCAM, I'LL EMAIL YOU RIGHT AWAY LOL

Image
 The anatomy of a scam. This is the exact format I've seen several times on other people's videos on YouTube (in the comments). See if you went to my channel the latest video would be at the top of the list and this was on an older one. There is literally an email link in my profile on YouTube and it was not used (even if it was I'd not fall for this crap). They use the words "your family" to make you react emotionally. You have thoughts like "Is someone hurt or in trouble"? This is almost always a way to try and get "money to your family member in need". Or it's a way to get information out of you. Sometimes it's a long lost relative you never freaking heard of leaving you money. There will always be a fee you need to pay for the legal matters to be cleared up and you to get the money. SCAM. It's interesting I've seen so many people reaching out on YouTube to people about "their family" this few months.
Read more

God I Miss You Mom

Image
I miss her some much. We where like best friends in my adult years. We would spend a lot of time together just talking or watching TV together. We often watched Golden Girls on her TV. Our bond was deep. When I had to watch her rot away from cancer, it was something I'll never be over. It took part of my soul watching it happen. Nothing will fix it. For a couple of years I took care of her in her home. I moved into the same apartment building as her, even though the rent was higher than I could do normally. I would cook for her, and help her with everything she needed help with. I gave all I had to the point of exhaustion. I managed to get some help for her, but not nearly enough. I'm disabled and it was seriously hard to do all the work that needed to happen. Then when she was in the home, I visited every day, even when I was in terrible pain. Half of the time she was in a home 5 blocks from my home, and I walked every day, even in the rain. When she needed to be taken to Regi
Read more

Weight Update Turned Into A Health Care Rant

Image
I don't normally post these in my blog, but on Instagram and Facebook. I just had to mention I've been up and down a bit for years now but staying about the same range in average. For some reason when I got hurt badly on January 1, 2024, in a week I was up 47.6 LBS. The treatment put on a LOT of water weight. The edema was never worse. But I'm back down 44 LBS from then, so it's all good. In 10 years I lost over 100 LBS, then I just seemed to have stopped and started to go up and down a bit in the same range I'm in now for a couple of years. The edema of course, gives me a big jump when it flairs, and when it subsides, I tend to have a big drop. The thing is, it is hanging on a lot longer than it used to, and may be a permanent state in the near future. Before I'd have it flair up and I'd have it go away in a week. Now it's most of the month before it's gone away. It does not seem to matter how much salt I eat either. I skipped the hot dogs and I sti
Read more