I Almost Unalived Myself

I am told here is reason to believe I fell 3 times (by a friend who knows about that kind of thing.) I was blacked out drunk. When I came to I had damaged myself enough my legs lost most of their strength from all the damage. BTW I was chatting and told the person it was 2 women paramedics. He knew I nude. He asked if I felt ashamed they saw me naked. I said I'll never be ashamed of my body. I am however ashamed I hurt myself so bad when I knew better.

I may never be the same again. Also I'm on blood thinners and hitting my head could have killed me or left me worse than dead. I had to be sent to another city fir a CT scan by ambulance and I hope my insurance covers it, I don't have a few hundred extra dollars to pay for it. Our CT technician was off sick and there no second one.

I darn near unalived myself and I sure as hell screwed myself up. I could not get out of a chair 3 nights in a row here in the hospital and required help. As well I was stuck on the toilet twice. I need help lifting my legs into bed. They want to send me home, possibly tomorrow. I can't get into bed, how am I sleeping. I can't get in my shower. And if I can't get out of my chair I need to call the paramedics. Thing is, no use going to the ER, but if I don't my insurance doesn't cover the paramedics rescuing me.i have no money to pay them.

I'm not only ashamed I did this to myself, I'm scared to be home alone. I'm also ashamed of our medical system.

Update: Got in bed by myself, but it caused me extreme pain. The muscle in the front of my right leg above the knee is in horrific pain. My back is also in horrific pain. This sucks.

Update 2: My stay was extended over the weekend, but I'm not certain I'm going to be OK home alone after I get out tomorrow. A friend went to my place to wait for a delivery I had comming. He then removed the rest of my booze for me. We will see how I do. The staff here is awesome BTW. I just wish I was sent to some place for rehabilitation and physiotherapy and the like. I don't think it would take more than 1 more week at a place like that. But I'm not a doctor, what do I know.

P.S. I'm posting from my phone in the hospital without my glasses, so ignore mistakes.

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