ANXIETY

Alone in the night, almost no sounds to be heard. It comes like a kick to the chest. Anxiety once again.

It's been good for years now then all the sudden it came back. I have tried to find a trigger for it and there is none. I recorded everything I did and eat for months and looked for a relationship with something and none came up.

The good thing is, they are not as crushing as they once where. Before I started on the Manitoba Harvest Hemp Oil they where a lot worse. Now they are mild in comparison. But now and then there is a bad one.

The strange thing is when I first had Anxiety it was only when I was out with lots of people around. Now 98% of the time it's when I'm alone at night. The 2% of the time is when I'm out some place or getting the mail or something. They seem to be very mild ones. The strong hits come when I'm alone.

Holding onto my little Pusheen seems to calm it down a lot and make them go away sooner. As well music seems to help me a lot. Calming music will sooth the fear and physical reaction to Anxiety.

Before the hemp oil, they where soul crushing and I thought I was going to die. Hell I went to the hospital many times until I realized what was happening and learned to recognize the symptoms for what they where.

I talked to the doctor about it and he wanted me to show up to the drop in counseling to see if there was a trigger. Well, the fact is there is no trigger so it's a waste of time. The other thing is, it's not terrible enough for me to desire medication that will leave me feeling out of it. The third thing is, they are far apart - as in maybe 3 a month 6 at most - so why bother with medication?

In any event, this has reminded me I need to order my pills in - have a good one.