For Those Who Judge The Disabled

 This is the view of the same thing below but from the lower resolution security camera as seen from my TV on the live feed. The image looks entirely different than when you see it up close and in better resolution. Until then, you literally don't understand what you are seeing.

Once you get a closer look you see what is going on and understand it.

This is like when you see someone who is disabled and think "you don't look disabled". When you see a fat person in a scooter at Walmart the first thing that comes to mind for you is to post a photo on Facebook showing "the lazy fat person".

You have literally no idea why that person got to be that size, you also have no idea if they are actually capable of walking in the first place. Yet our society seems to think that it's OK to just say "lazy fat person" and laugh about it.

It's a mix of why I got to be almost 500 lbs a few years ago and hit the 6 XL mark for clothing. First you have to know that most of my life since I was the age of 9 I had issues with gaining weight. I was at that time severely injured. This triggered a weight gain that was not that dramatic but never went away.

When I was over the injury, I went back to being a very active child just like my skinny friends. The only difference is, it never went away. I was just as active as the others and did not eat any more than before the injury to my back (fractured spine). This small amount of fat was enough to be ridiculed at school for being that "fat".

I worked at many jobs and was educated in several ways to try and improve my lot in life. With a degree in Management, Data Processing and Electronic Repair - I still was not able to rise out of my lot in life. It just happens some times.

So I took all manner of jobs and tried to stay fit as I could. I then injured my back again with a compressed disc and some shifting of the vertebra. This caused a great deal of pain when I did any lifting at all. Later it was added to by a great deal of joint pain causing me to not be able to walk more than 2 blocks at a time.

So for half of my life I was relegated to desk jobs and unable to actually work out in the gym any more or go for a long walk. This caused a great deal of weight gain. YES I do realize that this is half my fault as I continued to eat as if I was very active still and well the sedentary life seems to attract a desire to self medicate with junk food. This was the biggest mistake of my life.

Years later I became even more disabled in part from my great size. I was not even able to sit at a desk for more than an hour at a time. I also had what is known as a break out. This was my psychoactive disorder coming to the surface. It happened to me late in life and this evidently almost never happens - as most have it happen in their teen years.

Now medication treats it to a great extent and it is managed to the point I have a normal life. But I also have anxiety and with a high level of anxiety from working the disorder sends me to the hospital. Thus I literally can not work any more. The combination of physical and mental disability make it not possible.

Yet when people see me struggle to walk in the store (I refuse to use the cart), all they see is some fat slob, not someone who ended up this way threw disability and yes threw the lack of caring any more about how I looked or what size I was.

Skip ahead several years and I am then diagnosed with Fibromyalgia - a disorder that has left me in pain every moment of my life for the last 17 years. This ads to the desire to just sit here and do nothing and the desire to self medicate with food.

Skip ahead a few more years and the heart doctor telling me in two years or less you are going to be dead if you do not lose weight. I had slowly gone down over several years from 498 lbs to 465 lbs at that time. But after that push I made a big effort to lose weight and I have. I am now down to 383 lbs at the time of this blog. Yet I am still not able to walk far without a great deal of pain or to sit at a desk for long without a great deal of pain.

If I chose to ignore the pain and push threw it I will pass out from it eventually. So yes I am still 100% disabled. Yet even with a great effort to change my life and improve my health people only see me as "fat" not as someone with a physical disability that is becoming very apparent to me has almost nothing to do with my size.

I have however threw medication gone from at my worst not being able to walk a block to being able to walk 2 or 3 blocks at a time. So at least I can now go shopping and not have to worry about hitting the floor while doing it. Even when I do get the weight off I am still going to be disabled to the point that I can not work effectively.

One more thing people do not see when they point and laugh or post a photo of the fat person is that I give my time to non profit groups in the form of doing ad graphics for them. I also am highly supportive of other disabled people and spend most of my day trying to make their day a little better. I don't just sit here collecting benefits - I do something for society.

The best part of this is, the same point pointing and laughing and mocking the disabled do literally nothing for society in fact they hinder the progress of the human race. Every last thing they do is for their own gratification and nothing is to benefit anyone else. Yet they see us as a waste of government money and "lazy".

I've have personally witnessed people who need a scooter to get around as they are completely unable to walk more than a few steps mocked. These are NOT even fat people, they are skinny. The same people who call me lazy will as well laugh at people who are VERY obviously disabled threw physical deformity. So tell me, who is holding back society here?

In any event, I know this is long but there is a point. Next time you randomly judge someone just thing first "do I actually know their situation"?