Being funny...

Was at the pub and had to take a pee. I noticed there where no urinals, but I passed it off and just started to pee in the toilet. Then this rude fellow came and said "Get the hell out of my off sale cooler!

 Was sitting on the sofa talking to my wife and watching the dog run around the coffee table when I realised I don't have a coffee table... Or a dog... Or a wife...

 Kermit the frog is into fisting so Mrs Piggy is his beard...

 Well I fell... I missed my saving throw vs dexterity and I fell up this time. Now I am on the ceiling and can't get back down. I lost 6HP.

 Man "Make Merica great again hay"? Well he outsourced all his hacking to Russia - sooooo...

 They told me this was a vegetarian dish!

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