If I Vanish
A lot seems to be going wrong this last while. Health wise I mean. Makes me wonder how long I am going to be around on this old earth. Makes me wonder if the time is short. It’s all getting worse you see. The pain is getting worse. My knees have let up some but now and then it just hurts all over my body. Pain like I cannot describe to you. The pain in my bowls is getting to me a lot more often. I am not plugged up in fact it’s the opposite, I go often and it comes out with ease. Yet the pain is so bad. Right now it’s at a 6 I would say. The other night it was a perfect 10. Unimaginable pain. The two days ago I had a lot of blood coming out of my back end. Must have been over a cup of it in total. Sure I sat there for 6 hours waiting to get into the ER. Sure they passed me off like so many times before. But right now I don’t care. Right now I just want to know if this is going to kill me or not. Right now I just want to know if I should be saying goodbye or not. I look back on my life ...